BLOODY PARKINSONS: THE BIN MAN COMETH

PD makes your face freeze so you don’t smile quite so easily, even when people say absurd things to you. Like ‘look at ole misery face’. (Dundee pub 2015). And last week I got a new spin on this form of encouragement to smile.

I was walking the dog through the woods on the common, when a small terrier bit me on the ankle. Its owner, an older woman, said ‘it’s all right, he won’t bite. In any case, he thinks you are the bin man’.

Knock me down with a feather! So it was my fault for looking like her bin man. The dog ran off, yapping; the woman walked on, muttering; my dog would have said she was shocked (if she could talk, that is.) 

This was quickly followed by an incident in what might be termed an upmarket small chain restaurant. The waiter took my order of a can of craft beer called Neck Oil, and he took ages to serve me. I waved and waved again until he finally strolled over and gave me a piece of his mind – on the topic of impatience. I was gobsmacked as he wandered away. Eventually he deigned to serve me. The restaurant did not appear to be under pressure.

My wife took the issue up with the manager, saying that her husband had PD and could sometimes look stony faced, but he had waited an inordinate length of time to be served his Neck Oil.

They handled it well offering a free meal which we probably won’t take up. It’s not about the money after all.

IN THE PUB

We talked about Brexit, Chelsea, Clinton, but not Chelsea Clinton, Trump, North Korea, peanuts, double glazing, Rugby Union, plus several topics that I have forgotten. No conclusions reached!

SHEFFIELD UNITED WIN!

The Blades won at AFC Wimbledon in a 3-2 thriller in Skybet 1. One of our party even won £100 for forecasting first scorer and time of goal. Lovely ground and friendly welcome from AFCW fans. They deserve to succeed!

BLOODY PARKINSONS: A LATE QUARTET

The Guardian’s pick of the week’s films on TV was ‘A Late Quartet’, made by American documentary film maker Yaron Zilberman based around a famed classical music quartet and led by a recently widowed cellist Peter (Christopher Walken) with the late Philip Seymour Hoffman, Mark Avenir and Catherine Keener. Peter is diagnosed with Parkinson’s and the film follows the turmoil that ensues. Can he keep on playing? Can the group stay together?

It is a remarkable film on two levels: first for the chemistry from four such great performances and second for the portrayal of a Parkinson’s diagnosis. Christopher Walken shows how hands and fingers stop doing what you want them to do, how suddenly you can’t get up from a chair, how you stoop involuntarily, how your stride shortens, how everything gets smaller, especially hand writing, how your stony facial expression makes it look as though every day is a bad day.

If you have an interest in PD then watch this film. It made me feel that there are others out there facing the same horrible demons as myself, but at the same time fighting and adapting with all they have got. Nuff said.

And PS - the musical score is marvellous.

On a more personal note, just lately I’ve been having nightmares which may be caused by my various medicines. But last night I compounded the situation by howling aloud, followed by throwing myself out of bed, knocking down a concrete sculpture, which landed on my left ear cutting the lobe, which in turn tipped a Kilner jar of Euros on my head....which woke me up.

We have of course cleared the booby trap and some of the debris, but at least I’ve not howled much of late.

IN THE PUB

A full house of members of the pub grumblers society meant we had a lot to debate though nothing useful emerged, not that it ever does. We live in hope!

NEW MEDICINE

Just read the warnings on my latest medicine pack. Two possible side effects at more than 1 in 10 persons; swollen ankles and red blotchy spots. Twenty plus side effects at less than 1 in 10 persons (includes hallucinations!). Rare side effects affecting less than 1 in 1,000 persons, nine of them. Very rare side effects 1 in 10,000 of which there are four.

The lists provide several examples of possible contradiction eg diarrhoea and constipation, loss of bladder control, ie difficulty in peeing or a sudden urge to pee. Hey ho and ‘festina lente’ as the Romans said.

BLOODY PARKINSON’S: SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE BELGIAN

In summer there is an unfeasible number of beer festivals and since my Bloody Parkinson’s seems to be calmed by a drop of beer, I attend a fair number of these cheerfully amateur and semi-pro events, sated by a long list of classics and something new.

Most of the audience are in a good mood and keen to talk beer and pubs till the cows come home.

But there are exceptions....

A small but fiery man came up to me at the Great British Beer Festival at Olympia and yelled at me above the noise to ‘stop shaking!’. I looked at him, slightly concerned, and asked him what he had just said. ‘STOP SHAKING’ he yelled, this time at what seemed to be maximum volume; he was now going blue in the face. My companion said, pointing at me ‘he’s got Parkinson’s Disease’. The small man’s anger had abated somewhat as he demanded ‘what’s that when it’s at home?’ Then he staggered backwards into the throng in search of his next of no doubt many pints.

Very few visitors to a beer festival go to get drunk and stewards deal with anyone who seems to be getting intoxicated or elephant’s (trunk = drunk in rhyming slang).

Then at the Brussels festival, a very civilised do in the centre of the historic Grand Place, a slightly inebriated German gent apropos nothing at all said, what is it? Pointing at my shaky right hand. Alzheimer’s? So I explained it was something quite different, Bloody Parkinson’s, no less. He nodded sagely and wandered away towards the bars to replenish his glass.. I never saw him again.

We visited Brocante, Moeder Lambic, Poechenellerkelder, Fleu de Papier Dore and more in Brussels and four places in lovely Leuven including Fiere Margriet with 250+ beers.

TOPICS OF CONVERSATION

Brexit, Cameron, Theresa May, Belgian beer (strangely), the rarity of Westvleteren beers, Eurostar prices, beer glasses, why it’s a pity we are Brexiting the EU when countries like Belgium are so great....