EXERCISE VERSUS PD

Anyone and everyone associated with Bloody Parkinson’s recommends plenty of exercise, such as walking and swimming, for the PD sufferer: for physical well being, a healthy mind and to produce beneficial serotonins.


WALKING

So last week led by two friends, Stuart (a Ramblers Society walk leader) and Tony Bennett (no relation to the great crooner) three men and a dog went for a 7 or 8 mile walk from Ribblesdown to Coulsdon across four ancient Commons and through the glorious Happy Valley in South London. Now 7 to 8 miles might not seem far, even for a PD sufferer, but it was up hill and down dale, beginning with a near vertical chalk path winding up from Kenley Station towards a hot blue sky in the far distance. With one nice and much needed stop for a pint of St Austell Tribute, we eventually reached the end of the walk and a steep descent to Coulsdon Station where the dog disappeared to roll in a very freshly made cow pat (we called it cowsh when camping in my youth).

With no water in site and nothing to scrape it off we boarded a London bound train to Clapham Junction with a pong in the carriage you could have cut with a knife. Then transferring to a second commuter packed train where the crush intensified the mingled aromas of cow and dog. Still, at least I reckon myself able to walk 10 miles on the flat on a good day and that’s encouraging.

Hosed dog on return and felt a lot cleaner myself too. Will take scraper and bucket next time.


SWIMMING

Meanwhile, as a kid I was a bit of a champ at swimmin’. So I have started to plough up and down at my local pool early mornings before the worst of the rush

Singing in my head Loudon Wainwright III's wonderful Swimming Song:

This summer I went swimming

This summer I might have drowned

But I held my breath, I kicked my feet

I moved my arms around

I moved my arms around 

The pool is divided into three lanes: fast in the middle, medium to the right, slow to the left. For me the fast is too fast, the medium is a bit too fast and the slow too slow. And the slow attracts what I like to call the frustrating nurdlers.

What’s a nurdler? Well it’s a technical term for a swimmer who doesn’t swim or can’t swim in heavy traffic, but who takes up space in the slow lane and who does one or more of the following:

• Bobs or bounces up and down the lane, often hopping on one leg
• Holds a discussion group at the shallow end making turns impossible
• Swims half lengths and turns around in the middle of the lane to swim back
• Hangs on the side and kicks their feet into mid lane
• Goes down the wrong side of the lane against the traffic
• Invents a new stroke and insists in testing it in the slow lane, e.g. feet first backstroke, side stroke or butterfly with a buoyancy board clamped between their buttocks (I’m clearly making this one up) 

The nurdlers of course reject the beginners’ pool which generally stands empty.

Swimming can be a drag what with finding and getting your kit ready, getting trunks on and getting dressed afterwards: not to mention the repetitive nature of lengths, although singing or meditating helps pass the time. Tried whistling but sank.

Since I am sometimes reluctant to go to the pool (cold weather, lost trunks, laziness) my wife has created an incentive scheme based on me wearing the paper wristbands they give you to enter the pool until I have 3 proofs of purchase so to speak. At which point she cuts off the wristbands and rewards me with what might be termed ‘an intimate show of affection’.

I suppose I should end on a PD note? To quote from the PD Specialist Nurse: “(Mr Jackson) has on and off constipation; this is controlled by some oral laxatives”, to which I observe: “more on than off”

Note to self: SELL DOG – BUY CAT.