Can you tell Bloody Parkinson’s is on the way?
If I look back, can I recall any signs that might have signalled that something or other was headed my way? Signs that might have driven me to the doctor earlier? Well I have had a cup of tea and saucer rattle in my right hand for aeons and maybe 30 years: I put it down to nerves among small groups, business meetings and the like. My right buttock sometimes shook when I peed – unnerving or what? My handwriting was getting smaller and smaller and turning from a clear if girly script to a wobbly line. My bladder was insecure: ie if I felt like a pee my bladder could play the trick of letting go as I put my key in the front door, rather than waiting for the lav. Most peculiar was the right leg twitch that followed love making, or it may just have been the earth moving?
In client meetings my right hand shook as I scribbled my linear and illegible notes. My right hand would do a fandango when I wrote and when I signed a cheque. Throwing a ball seemed somehow more difficult, so I’ll still never play for Yorkshire. My clever bar room trick with a matchbox lid became impossible. Getting off a bus or tube train seemed tougher than before as the hand grips moved to and fro with the vehicle’s movement. Fingers and toes cramped up in bed or just suddenly at mid day, while my right index finger would go rigid without warning. So rigid that I felt I could break it off like an icicle.
A simple test for the disease is to draw a spiral or snail. But medical experts aren’t always as expert as they seem as the Prof’s snail doesn’t come anywhere near my snail:
If I look back, can I recall any signs that might have signalled that something or other was headed my way? Signs that might have driven me to the doctor earlier? Well I have had a cup of tea and saucer rattle in my right hand for aeons and maybe 30 years: I put it down to nerves among small groups, business meetings and the like. My right buttock sometimes shook when I peed – unnerving or what? My handwriting was getting smaller and smaller and turning from a clear if girly script to a wobbly line. My bladder was insecure: ie if I felt like a pee my bladder could play the trick of letting go as I put my key in the front door, rather than waiting for the lav. Most peculiar was the right leg twitch that followed love making, or it may just have been the earth moving?
In client meetings my right hand shook as I scribbled my linear and illegible notes. My right hand would do a fandango when I wrote and when I signed a cheque. Throwing a ball seemed somehow more difficult, so I’ll still never play for Yorkshire. My clever bar room trick with a matchbox lid became impossible. Getting off a bus or tube train seemed tougher than before as the hand grips moved to and fro with the vehicle’s movement. Fingers and toes cramped up in bed or just suddenly at mid day, while my right index finger would go rigid without warning. So rigid that I felt I could break it off like an icicle.
A simple test for the disease is to draw a spiral or snail. But medical experts aren’t always as expert as they seem as the Prof’s snail doesn’t come anywhere near my snail:
VOMITING INTO THE HENRY
To show you that life goes on as normal, in spite of a diagnosis of PD, last week the French student who lives with us vomited on the bedroom carpet and hoovered it up with the Henry vacuum cleaner. This meant we took Henry to the man who mends them saying we’d found green slime in it and the engine had blown. He wrote it off as a dead loss surmising that a person unknown had thrown up inside it (i.e. taken the top half off and aimed right into the poor little machine). We, of course, only go and buy a new Henry and as true discreet Brits say nothing to the student. Which means we aren’t sure how the gloop got inside the Henry and so it’ll probably happen again.
That night at the pub the old curmudgeons debated whether pound shops represented value for money or not. The answer was yes and no.
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